My Brother and his Brother by Håkan Lindquist

Author:Håkan Lindquist
Language: deu
Format: epub
Publisher: Gmuender
Published: 2011-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

12

I forced myself not to open Paul’s diary until Friday evening. Mother and Father were watching a film on television. For a while I sat with them in the living room.

“I don’t think I’ll stay,” I said, and stood up. “I’m going to bed to read. Sleep well.”

They looked surprised.

“It’s just half past nine,” said my father.

“You’re not ill again, are you?” asked my mother.

“No, I’m fine. Just a little tired. Good night!”

I arranged the pillows against the headboard, undressed and nestled down in bed with your diary in my hands.

Tuesday, 24 December 1968.

It’s almost one o’clock at night, and actually Wednesday. We’ve been at Grandma’s and Grandpa’s earlier today. I gave them a candlestick I made in school. Grandma gave me a sweater and Grandpa gave me a book. We had coffee, then we went home. Daniel came in the afternoon. We had Christmas dinner, and after that Daddy said he wanted to take a walk. But I told him I don’t need Santa anymore. I’m fifteen. Mum and Daniel just laughed, but Dad looked a bit sad. At least he delivered all the gifts. He gave me this diary and the musical “Hair” on LP. Mum had bought me a pair of jeans, but I will have to change them. Too big. Daniel is trying to make me like jazz. He gave me a Dave Brubeck album. It’s quite good, actually. But it’s a bit strange, this Christmas thing. I liked it when I was small. Now it’s more of an effort.

Friday, 27 December 1968.

Went to town with Dad in the morning. I changed the jeans for a neater pair. We had coffee at Nilsson’s cafe before we separated. I met Elisabeth and Carina on the square. They want me to come with them to a party at Anders’s place on New Year’s Eve. But I told them I’m busy. I don’t want to see either Göran or Janne after what happened at the Lucia party. Tonight I went to see Daniel for a while. He showed me his new camera. Nikon. We talked about taking pictures of each other soon. I wanted to speak to him about THAT, but there was no time. It’s not only that he’s not dating any girls. It’s something else too. More like a feeling. And although he’s that much older than I am, he feels like a mate. Almost like a big brother.

Paul sometimes wrote about things my mother and father had told me about. Nothing special, just things. He mentioned Daniel quite often.

Daniel was wrong about the day when they took the pictures. It was not on a Sunday. It was Friday, 17 January 1969. And Paul’s story differed slightly from what Daniel had told me:

… Then Daniel said I was beautiful. That he likes my eyes. I didn’t know what to say. He said he wanted to take pictures of me, but not just of my face. I asked what he meant, and finally he told me he wanted to take nude pictures of me.

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